the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
