maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Randomize
