Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I got inside last night via doggy door
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
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