so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
