I threw up into my coffee this morning.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
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