meet me or not, i'm out of control
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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