craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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