Soap is not a condiment
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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