if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
