I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.