when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
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I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
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I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Of course I have a pirate flag