I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.