I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas