so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?