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no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
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