we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
