I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
