For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
