woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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