Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
There's always time for handjobs
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
