His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
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