TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
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