Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
