And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
