her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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