You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
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