if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Randomize
