Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
