id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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