capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Randomize
