were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
you didnt know i had herpes?
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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