If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
