I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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