he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
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he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
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I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
And my parents said I crawled through the house
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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