i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
