she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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