I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
