its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
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