yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
