get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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