If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
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Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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