god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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