Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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