My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
