i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
