i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
