Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
