The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
