i don't like sucking hair
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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