8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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