I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
not ubering you a puppy
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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