At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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