So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
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you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
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Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
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