I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I have tasted many bathrooms
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
