I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize