Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Randomize
