Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
