its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
