Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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