Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
