This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
My life is pants optional.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
