so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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