some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
