hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
